Hummel
by chibichibi k
Summary: Kurt looked at the image, confused he quirked an eyebrow at Noah. “You’re joking...” - Puck/Kurt pre-slash Oneshot - Follow up to "Puck"


_Disclaimer: I do not own Glee or any other shows that I happen to write for!!_

**Author's Notes: **So this is a sequel of sorts to my story **PUCK** but this time, Noah is the one with the dirt on Kurt's name. For those of you who don't know, Kurt's last name is **_Hummel_ because of the fact that Chris Cofler looks like a hummel doll which is a porcelain figurine. Google it!! Anyway, here's this one. **

**Enjoy!**

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_**Hummel**_

Kurt was a little nervous about encountering Noah the next day at school especially after he'd called the jock an asshole, not matter how cutely he had said it. There was one good thing that would work in his favour and that was the fact that he only had one class with Puck and that class was math, which the second string quarterback always missed due to his three hour nap that he took in the nurse's office every day. There was football practice after school but Kurt didn't go or stay for the full practice, he was the kicker and didn't require as much strenuous training as all the jocks did. Normally, he just listened to coach Tanaka bitch and yell for fifteen minutes before heading home. Confident that the routine that had been set in place for the last few weeks of the semester was securely in place, Kurt went about his day and went about everything as always and if everything kept to schedule, he probably wouldn't run into Noah until Glee practice on Thursday.

The only thing that Kurt hadn't considered was that Noah Puckerman was unpredictable and also had a tendency to go against routine.

So, when Kurt had walked into math before lunch the last thing he had expected to see was Noah sitting at a desk, with his books open and ready to learn math. Another thing wrong with this scenario was that fact that the jock was sitting at the desk next to Kurt's that was usually vacant. Carefully, as if approaching a wild animal - or in this case approaching a jock that could string him up the flag poll by his underwear in less than thirty-three seconds (Kurt had timed the last time that had happened), the gleek took his seat and started empting out the contents of his Marc Jacobs messenger bag. As he thought over which graphing calculator would go well with his pens – the azure or the emerald, hmm? – he kept one eye on Noah to see if the jock would say or do something even weirder than sitting next to him.

Just as he had decided on which calculator and ruler went with his color scheme for the day, Mr. Thornhill walked into the room and began to go over their homework. Kurt tried to pay attention but he kept sneaking glances at the jock sitting next to him that was clearly bored and slowly falling asleep. He was so engrossed in the fact that Noah had yet to say or do anything to explain his sudden want to come to math class as well as sit next to him that he hadn't been paying attention to the fact that the math teacher was talking to him.

A loud, "Mr. Hummel," broke Kurt out of his Noah induced stupor and the gleek whipped his eyes to the clearly annoyed teacher standing at the front of the class. "Y-yes, Mr. Thornhill?"

"Using the formula Y = MX + B, what does B represent?"

Kurt looked at Mr. Thornhill like he had sprouted another head. "Excuse me?"

"The equation Mr. Hummel," the math teacher pointed to the blackboard that was covered in symbols and numbers that somehow formed a math question. "Using the formula Y = MX + B, what does B represent?"

"I... I don't know," Kurt said after a moment of starring at the almost illegible writing on the board.

The teacher sighed before turning back to the black board. "Start paying more attention to what is going on around you, Mr. Hummel."

Kurt ducked his head as he flushed in embarrassment. A chuckle from beside him made him look up though and he glared at the jock who was laughing at his embarrassment. Noah seemed unfazed by the gleek's glare which only served to piss Kurt off more.

"What's so funny?"

Noah just shot Kurt one of his trademark smirks and whispered, "Hummel.'

"How is that funny?" Kurt hissed.

Noah's smirk just grew as he leaned closer to Kurt, as much as he could give the gap between their desks. "You're not the only one whose name can refer to something else," he said cryptically.

Kurt was starting to get annoyed. "What the hell are you talking about? Did you take one too many footballs to the head or something. There's no possible way that – "

"Mr. Hummel!" Mr. Thornhill exclaimed, having caught the gleek once again not paying attention and now talking to Noah. "If you and Mr. Puckerman are going to whisper sweet nothings in each others' ears rather than learn math, I'm going to have to ask you both to go to save it for after detention!"

Kurt once more ducked his head. Just great, first Noah ruin his routine and hope that he would be able to avoid him and now the jerk got him in trouble. He didn't really want to spend his afternoon locked in a room with McKinley High's resident delinquents.

"Hey! I didn't even do anything!" Noah exclaimed in outrage.

"Quiet, Mr. Puckerman. I know you're used to detention so please make sure to show Mr. Hummel the ropes and both of you had better be quiet and pay attention to the rest of this lesson or I'll add on a few more days of detention for both of you."

"Just shut up, Noah," Kurt hissed before burying his head in his book and just waited for the day to be over.

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By the time the day was over, Kurt had put the whole incident in math behind him and was just ready to go home and he would have just headed straight home if it hadn't been for the muscled arm wrapping around his shoulders and tugging him into Noah's side just before he made it out the door.

"Forget about something, Hummel?"

The gleek was just about to fire a snappy comment at the jock when it dawned on him that said jock had managed to score them both a detention session. "Fine," he huffed in annoyance before shrugging off Puck's arm. "Let's get this death march over with."

The two of them walked to detention in silence and once they reached the room forever set aside for detention, Kurt walked over and sat in the last available desk by the window. He immediately began to slip away into a day dream in hopes that it would help make the long hour and a half of detention go by faster.

The only seat by Kurt was the one just at his right side and was soon occupied by Noah. The gleek paid him no mind as he continued to day dream with unpleasantness away. Ignoring Puck didn't last long since soon the jock was turning to face him and had started poking him in the shoulder in a childish attempt to get the other teen's attention. Kurt did his best to continue to ignore him, thinking that just like a child; Noah would get bored and eventually find something else to do. Unfortunately, once again the older teen dashed Kurt's hopes and continued on.

"I don't partake in the poking people _insist_ on doing on Facebook, so, why exactly do you think I will take part in it here and now?" Kurt snapped at the jock.

Noah just smiled smugly at Kurt and simply replied with, "You're looking at me as well as talking to me, aren't you?"

Kurt couldn't argue with the jock's logic, which was sad. "Fine, then what do you want or are you just going to continue to practically pound me with your finger?"

"My, my, Hummel, I never knew you were so dirty. But as much as I would just _love_ to continue to "pound you with my finger," I have something else in mind."

Kurt couldn't help but flush at how Puck had taken what he had said so nastily. He shoved the implications of his statement as well as the sexy smirk that was gracing Noah's lips to the side for the moment. "What'd you have in mind then?"

"Hummel."

Rolling his eyes skyward, the gleek sighed before slumping into his chair. "What does my last name have to do with it?"

"Well after what you said about my nickname having a double meaning, I decided to Google your name and see if anything came up."

"Well? Did something come up?" Kurt was intrigued, to say the least. He had never thought to Google his own name to see if anything interesting or mortifying came up.

"Did it ever and I have to say that I can totally see the similarities," Noah smirked at Kurt, a knowing gleam in his eyes.

"What are you talking about, Noah?"

"It's difficult to explain," the jock chuckled. "Here give me your phone."

A little wary about where this was going, Kurt handed over his iPhone and watched as Noah navigated it effortlessly and made quick work of bringing up whatever it was on the internet that he just had to show Kurt and had to do with the gleek's last name. Once the jock was finished with his phone, he passed it back to the shorter teen and waited for his response.

Kurt looked at the image, confused he quirked an eyebrow at Noah. "You're joking..."

'Not at all, I think it's a remarkable resemblance."

"Good lord... This is just..."

"Awesome, I know." If Noah's smile got any wider or smugger, Kurt was sure the jock's face would split in half.

"You're an asshole," Kurt said as calmly as he could so that his amusement didn't bleed through to the already arrogant jock.

"Yeah, I know. But if I'm an asshole that makes you porcelain."

Kurt rolled his eyes and muttered, "Just perfect..."

Puck still smiled brightly at the other teen. "So... Still want me to teach you how to play guitar, porcelain peach?"

It was then that Kurt realised just how many ways Noah was going to manipulate this to his advantage and just how little options he had on how to counter it. Funny enough, the gleek didn't really mind as much as he normally would. "Sure thing, Asshole."

They were sure going to get some interesting looks for their choice of nicknames for the other but at least no one could ever say they weren't original.

END

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I'm trying to think of a name for this series, since I do plan to add on a bit more to this.** So I need some suggestions!!**


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